Followers

Tuesday 5 April 2011

Assess his Commitment...


1. The Holiday Test
In order to gain immediate clarity as to how ready-to-commit he is, you can always find out verbally. Whilst you can bring up the subject of commitment and gauge how he feels from his reaction, there is a much more subtle way of doing this without having to directly ask.
Try telling him that you would really love to go on holiday with him. By doing this you are implicitly saying that you see yourselves being together, at least for the next few months, and if he agrees or elaborates on your idea, then you know he shares the same vision.
Whilst this is important to immediately get a reading of how he feels about commitment, actions speak louder than words, and so you really need to back this up with tests two and three to get real certainty…
2. The Integration Test
Rather than just bringing up the subject of your future plans and discussing them together, you want to actually see him proactively building you into his life. If a guy is introducing you to his friends and family, it’s a great sign that he’s wanting to get serious. Rarely will a guy do this if he doesn’t see things going anywhere in the long-term, as he’ll be wary of making the situation harder to remove himself from.
If ever you find there is a conflict between what he says and does, it’s usually a better bet to take into account his actions as opposed to his words, and it’s in this third test where you’re most likely to see this.
3. The Decisions Test
You have to ask yourself if you’re being consulted on the big decisions he has to make in his own life? When he is and you know he’s accounting for you, you can be sure that he wants a commitment and sees you being together.
As I said, this is where you’re most likely to see the conflicts between his words and actions. For instance, a guy might tell you he really wants to be with you, but at the same time he’s looking to book flights to go traveling the world. If this the case, it’s unlikely that commitment is the first thing on his mind, and so you should take his actions into consideration when choosing what to do next

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