Speaking your truth is one of the most important keys to getting the life you want and the happiness you deserve. When I talk about speaking your truth, though, I’m talking about setting boundaries and sticking to them. I’m not talking about spewing whatever comes to mind whenever you feel like it, and to whomever you want to in order to get your point across!
So what’s the difference, you may ask? Speaking your truth doesn’t have an attachment to outcome! We don’t speak our truth in order to manipulate, persuade or force someone to do things our way, see things the way we want them to, or even agree with us. To speak your truth means to stand in your own power and to not allow anyone to take your power away. It has nothing to do with aggression, manipulation or being stubborn, selfish and mean-spirited.
Having an attachment to someone else’s reaction turns your “truth speaking” into an act of trying to get things your way and moves the focus away from you, i.e. holding someone else responsible. To be honest does not mean we have to be mean, a bully, manipulative or unkind, because in a way, we couldn’t care less what the other “feels” about it. It means that you have stated what is and what is not acceptable to your well-being and your own self and that should never be reliant on an outside source.
People are whatever they are and choose to be. Confronting those who have wronged you, or are still wronging you, won’t create peace of mind. The reason is that most people are absolutely unwilling to change or even see their part in an argument, problem or issue. But when we set our boundaries and claim our power, it doesn’t matter if a person changes their mind or point of view, because their action or reaction does not influence our happiness or our peace.
I used to have this very wrong. My idea of always being honest backfired big time, each and every time I would confront a person with their (in my mind) bad attitudes or unacceptable behaviors. I figured, if I speak clearly they’d get it. But they never did and the struggle, fights or arguments would continue. The more someone would misunderstand or misinterpret me, the more I would attempt to “set them straight.” Needless to say, this almost always failed completely. In the past, my “honesty” made quite a few enemies and the feeling of being seen completely distorted, or having been treated unfairly, weighed on me heavily.
To be honest, it’s hard for me to understand that not everyone likes or will like me. There are a lot of people who claim that they don’t care how others perceive them, but to me, and I would argue to most, it does matter. It matters because I’m actively attempting to make a difference in the world and I am actively attempting to be my higher self; and for all of us who take on these roles, we have to be mindful of our choices, words, actions, thoughts and emotions. We do not get to spew bad energy, we don’t get to be passive aggressive and we don’t get to manipulate others and be victims.
Making this decision makes it even more important to fully accept and love yourself. Accepting who you are and stopping to make excuses for it will allow you to keep your power and your peace of mind; as a permanent state of being. When you state and live your boundaries consistently, you will find no need to manipulate anymore. It doesn’t matter if someone agrees or doesn’t agree, because at the end of the day, it isn’t up to others to validate who you are! This power is given to you alone, my friend.
Living your life with honor, integrity, courage and kindness will, in return, attract those who do not require explanations. You will find yourself surrounded more by those who won’t continuously challenge, misinterpret or suck the life out of you and less by those who do not live by the same principles. The universe has a way of weeding out those who no longer belong or serve your growth anymore. So when you “lose” someone to your newly found ability to live in power, let it go and trust that another who has no problem with it will emerge. There is no empty space in the universe. Alas, getting rid of space occupied by those who do not deserve it, will allow a spot for those who do
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