Thursday 12 April 2012
The True Meaning of Success
I've always liked this definition of success from Dave Kekich. He wrote, "You're successful when you like who and what you are. Success includes achievement...while choosing and directing your own activities. It means enjoying intimate relationships and loving what you do in life."
Craig Ballantyne
You control everything. Your success is your responsibility.
A Secret to Your Success
By Bob Bly
A few years ago, I was part of a panel of supposedly successful people speaking to a room packed with about a thousand college seniors.
Our topic: how to be successful.
When it was my turn, I asked the students: "How many of you want to be successful?"
Every hand in the room shot up.
I then asked: "Who can tell me what success is?"
Not a single hand in the room was raised.
"If you don't know what success is," I asked the students, "then how are you going to get there?"
This is the dilemma facing many people I meet today.
They desperately want to be "successful."
But when you ask them what that would mean, they either can't give you a definitive answer, or they say it would be becoming a millionaire.
They define success by how much money they have because that's how the world keeps score.
But does becoming a millionaire really make you successful?
If you won the lottery or inherited the money, you are a millionaire – but are you really a success?
If you have to do something unethical or illegal to make that much money, are you really a success?
If you work marathon days at a job that makes you miserable – same question.
That's why early in my career, I thought about what success meant to me – not what others thought success is.
And I came up with this definition: Success is doing what I want to do ... when I want to do it ... with the people I want to work with ... and getting paid very, very well for it.
I don't claim this is a perfect definition for success. And it may not work for you. But it works for me and many others I have shared it with in my books and lectures.
Let's break down this definition of success piece by piece....
"Success is doing what I want to do."
To me, 90% of the secret of enjoying life is having a job or business you love ... one you're so excited and enthusiastic about, you jump out of bed every morning eager to get to your office and start the day.
After all, you spend more than half your waking hours working. If you don't like work – and millions of people don't – then your days will seem to drag on almost forever. It's close to torture.
Now, the mistake people make is to believe the old saying, "Pursue your passion and the money will follow."
There are plenty of things people are passionate about (e.g., 18th century Peruvian poetry) that may be fun and interesting but have close to zero money-making potential.
The trick is to pursue an interest of yours (e.g., restoring classic cars) that people will pay for.
Aristotle said words to the effect that wherein your passion intersects with the needs of the public, therein lies your vocation.
Next, success is doing what you love "when I want to do it."
This is why 9-to-5 employment was not for me: I resented being told what to do and when to do it.
I could not abide having my freedom taken away and being subject to someone else's whims at their beck and call.
And so I quite to become a freelance copywriter.
One of the dangers of self-employment is the crisis-lull-crisis rhythm of so many businesses.
To protect yourself against the slow times, you should create multiple streams of income – some active, some passive.
I have 5 income streams: (a) copywriting, (b) consulting, (c) Internet marketing, (d) writing books, and (e) giving workshops and seminars.
That way, I am always busy. If copywriting would ever slow, as happened a few times very early in my career, I would turn to the book I had under contract or do some workshops.
The best thing is that, being self-employed, I can largely work on tasks and projects when I want to do them, not when someone else tells me to do them.
Even meetings and conference calls are scheduled by me when I want to and can do them, not when someone else commands me to.
My old friend DH says, "I don't like taking orders, and I don't like giving orders." I feel the same way.
That's why, aside from my administrative assistant, JV, I work alone. And JV is a virtual assistant, so I really am alone all day, as I prefer.
Success is doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, "with the people I want to work with."
By working diligently and consistently to build my copywriting practice, I could soon pick and choose the clients I accepted.
This way I could work only with people I like and respect – and only on projects that interest me.
If you are in a service business, figure out how much self-promotion you need to do to fill your book of business ... and then do twice that amount of marketing.
This will fill your lead pipeline to overflowing and allow you to pick and choose what clients and assignments you take on.
The last part of my success formula: "getting paid very, very well."
Goal setting experts would find fault with this statement, because it does not specify a dollar amount of money.
Well, I live in an affluent neighborhood. So I decided that for me, getting paid well meant earning 4X or more per year than my average neighbor.
You may have a different money goal: higher annual earnings or the accumulation of a net worth of a certain dollar amount; i.e. a million bucks.
That's a valuable and laudable goal, but it simply isn't part of my personal success definition. But by all means, if you want it to be part of your success definition, go for it.
One other thing....
I have a litmus test for your definition of success, and it's simple: Does it allow you to live comfortably? Does it make you happy?
If you can say yes, then you are successful. At least in my eyes. And I hope in yours, too
Monday 9 April 2012
You CAN get rid of those negative thoughts
It happened yesterday, or the day before.
Maybe months ago. Or years ago.
But you're still hanging on.
You carry that anger or that resentment.
You think about it and you get upset.
Or Angry.
You feel like somebody stole something from you
How could you be so foolish
How could you make such a mistake
Everyday you beat yourself up over it.
You can't change what happened in the past.
But you just can't let go.
So you keep remembering it.
And when you do you fill your mind with negative thoughts.
You can't sleep.
You want to do something but don't know what.
You just keep hanging on to those memories.
You keep thinking about what happened.
The negative thoughts keep coming...
You just can't let go...
But you CAN let go.
You have to let got
And you CAN move on.
You CAN stop beating yourself up
You CAN get rid of those negative thoughts
Here are ten easy ways to improve your memory and prevent Alzheimers.
Add some of these things to your diet:
1)Cinnamon
2) Maca
3) Parsley
4) Coconut
5) Strawberries
6) Shitake Mushrooms
7) Apples
8) Radishes
Additionally
9) Learn something new each day
10) Do crossword puzzles or something to challenge
your brain frequently.
Adding just one of these things to your diet each day will improve your memory by 20% over a month's time.
Adding more than that will obviously improve your memory every quicker.
I estimate that about 70% of you who are reading this right now, are finding yourself more forgetful these days.
When you improve your mind and your memory, you also make better decisions.
Here's to your health and well being.
What's the secret to tripling productivity?
By Craig Ballantyne
Is there something missing in your life – dance, sports, time with family? Become more productive, decide on how best to spend your time, and make that missing activity part of your life again.
I call it my Magic Time.
And the good news is that you have your own version of it, too.
Everyone does.
Let me explain.
We all have a time in our day when we are literally THREE times as productive as any other time of day. All you have to do is identify that time, recognize its importance, free up that time, and then ruthlessly protect it from the time vampires who try to suck it away from you.
Back in 2004 I discovered that my magic time was early in the morning. Each day at 4:30am I would get up and work on my Internet business for twenty minutes before hopping in the shower and racing to catch the city bus into downtown Toronto where I was a personal trainer to CEO's and entrepreneurs.
Each morning it became harder and harder to pull myself away from the project I was working on before my real job began. I even worked on the bus ride downtown, and in the few minutes I had between clients.
After several months I was faced with a decision. Do I continue on with this 'scrimping' of magic time, or do I make sacrifices to free up the magic time so that I could take giant steps toward my ultimate goal of financial freedom through my Internet business?
You can guess the answer.
I made up my mind to sacrifice income in the short term (by introducing my clients to other trainers who could service them with the same attention to detail as I did) so that I could have more of my magic time devoted to my long–term goals.
This decision made all the difference in the world.
I could write articles in fifteen minutes in the morning, but these articles would take me three or four times as long later in the day. I kept my afternoon clients (when I was unproductive as a writer), and spent my mornings creating products and inspirational messages for my fitness email readers.
It hurt me at first, but paid off handsomely in the long run, and it can for you, too.
First you have to identify your magic time. It's not hard to do, but it just requires a little exercise I learned from George Ross, Donald Trump's right hand man and long–time business lawyer.
Years ago, at a Dan Kennedy SuperConference, George was one of the keynote speakers. It was in that speech that he introduced me to Donald Trump's time journaling method. It's a simple little task that will help you identify your magic time, as well as the habits that rob you of your time each day.
All you need to do is get a journal or notebook and write down your workday in fifteen minute increments on each line. For example, if your workday starts at 8am, you'll have a line dedicated to 8:00, 8:15, 8:30, and so on, all the way to the end of your day (and I actually recommend doing this for all of your waking hours).
Your next task is to simply record what you are doing in each of those fifteen minute increments. If you find yourself surfing the web aimlessly at 9:15am, write that down. That's one of the bad time habits you'll need to fix.
More importantly, you'll also begin to identify your most productive work time. For example, you might find that you can really crank out the work in the final two hours of the day. That might be your magic time. Once you identify it, the next step then becomes crucial.
Now you must foster it and protect it. You'll need to take your phone off the ringer, shut down your email alerts, keep yourself blocked from the Internet, and avoid all distractions.
Your magic time is priority number one, because you can truly triple your productivity in this time.
It's so simple, yet powerful. If you can use this to get more done in the limited time you have for work, it will mean freeing up more time for the activities you enjoy and the people that matter the most to you. Take your Magic Time very, very seriously.
Identify your magic time. Work it. And guard it like my dog, Bally, guards his dinner dish. Don't let anyone else get their greedy lil' paws on your Magic Time. Protect it ruthlessly and you will prosper.
Criticism is the Price of Success
"Criticism is necessary and useful; it is often indispensable; but it can never take the place of action, or be even a poor substitute for it. The function of the mere critic is of very subordinate usefulness. It is the doer of deeds who actually counts in the battle for life, and not the man who looks on and says how the fight ought to be fought, without himself sharing the stress and the danger." – Theodore Roosevelt
By Michael Masterson
One of the most surprising and disappointing things about reaching an important goal is that many people won't share your happiness when they hear about it. Some will even criticize your achievement.
This has happened to me a lot in my success-driven life. The criticism always hurts – but it hurts less now than it did when I was younger. Moreover, I've learned to profit from it. You can too.
What's important, I've found, is not the criticism itself but how I react to it. Praise motivates me to do more of what I'm doing. Criticism – which used to make me want to quit – spurs me to examine what I'm doing and see if I can do it better.
Here's an example. This happened after I published an article in my Ready, Fire, Aim newsletter about the economy. Two of my most esteemed colleagues read it, didn't like it, and chastised me for bad writing. That set me aback. I consider myself to be a pretty good writer, but they made me wonder if I was really just a shallow-minded pundit of mediocrity.
After doubting myself for a few days, I set to the task of profiting from their comments. I reread what they said and made notes on those points I thought were valid. I circulated my notes to Jason, Suzanne, and Judith, my editors. That began an ongoing discussion about how we could improve Ready, Fire, Aim. And we came up with a few good ideas.
I then wrote to my two friends who were nice enough to honestly critique my article. I thanked them for helping me make the newsletter better. And I meant it.
In What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Marshall Goldsmith talks about how important feedback is to success:
"Feedback is very useful for telling us 'where we are.' Without feedback... we couldn't have results. We couldn't keep score. We wouldn't know if we were getting better or worse. Just as salespeople need feedback on what's selling and leaders need feedback on how they are perceived by their subordinates, we all need feedback to see where we are, where we need to go, and to measure our progress."
Goldsmith acknowledges that negative feedback "can be employed by others to reinforce our feelings of failure, or at least remind us of them – and our reaction is rarely positive." Worst of all, negative feedback can sometimes shut us down. "We close ranks, turn into our shell, and shut the world out."
When Goldsmith was a child, his mother told him he had no mechanical skills. He went through high school believing that, and, when he was 18, scored at the bottom of the entire nation in a test given by the U.S. Army.
A few years later, a professor persuaded him to take another look at his mechanical abilities. That's when he realized his mother was wrong, and he was "just living out the expectations [he] had chosen to believe."
So that might be the first thing to say about profiting from criticism. Recognize that a negative comment about you or your abilities cannot damage you unless you let it.
Goldsmith says that he wasted years, convinced that he was mechanically inept. But he didn't blame his mother. He blamed himself. "I was the one who kept telling myself, 'You can't do this!' I realized that as long as I kept saying that, it was going to be true."
Here are some useful techniques for profiting from criticism.
1. Remember that criticism is the price of success.
As writer Elbert Hubbard said, "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." So if you do something, you're going to be subject to criticism. Presidents get criticized. Clint Eastwood gets criticized. Even Mother Theresa was criticized. The more success you have, the more criticism you will engender. Some of it will be helpful. Most of it will be useless. But don't be afraid of it. It won't kill you. It will only make you stronger.
2. Dump your failure-support group.
This group includes jealous friends, professional enemies, and habitual critics. These people get their kicks from kicking you when you are up. They want you to be down where they are. Don't go there. Just ignore them.
3. If you can't ignore your critics, frame your responses strategically.
Sometimes, you won't be able to ignore your critics – if, for example the criticism is coming from your boss or your family. That's when you need to stay calm and respond strategically.
In Self-Esteem, Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning recommend a technique they call "clouding." "Clouding involves a token agreement with a critic. It is used when criticism is neither constructive nor accurate. When you use clouding to deal with criticism, you are saying to the critic, 'Yes, some of what is on your screen is on my screen.' But to yourself you add, 'And some isn't.' You 'cloud' by agreeing in part, probability, or principle."
Agreeing in part – finding one part of your critic's comments to agree with or acknowledge.
The Criticism: You're not reliable. You forget to pick up the kids, you let the bills pile up until we could lose the roof over our heads, and I can't ever count on you to be there when I need you.
Your Response: You're certainly right that I did forget to pick up the kids last week after their swimming lesson.
Agreeing in probability – acknowledging that there's a possibility your critic could be right. The chances may be a million to one against it, but you can truthfully say, "It's possible you're right."
The Criticism: Starting a business now is a terrible idea. The economy is in the crapper, and you're just wasting time and money.
Your Response: Yes, it's possible that my business won't work out.
Agreeing in principle – acknowledging the logic of your critic's argument, but not necessarily agreeing with his assumptions. This clouding technique uses the conditional "if/then" format.
The Criticism: You're really taking a chance by claiming all these deductions you don't have receipts for. The IRS is cracking down. You're just asking for an audit. It's stupid to try to save a few bucks and bring them down on you like a pack of bloodhounds.
Your Response: You're right. If I take the deductions, I'll be attracting more attention to myself. And if I get audited, it will be a real hassle.
4. Take helpful criticism seriously.
Helpful criticism is sometimes harsh but it's always well intended. It's not hard to identify it. The hard thing is to accept that it is helpful and use it to improve yourself.
In Succeed for Yourself: Unlock Your Potential for Success and Happiness, Richard Denny says, "Constructive criticism is not negative, so be enthusiastic about it. Remember, you are very fortunate if you receive it. Encourage others to offer constructive criticism."
5. Thank your critics.
I make it a habit to send a personal "thank you" to anyone whose criticism has helped me do better work.
6. Solicit criticism – from people you respect – while there is plenty of time to make changes.
One of the most successful publishers I know does this regularly. When considering the launch of a new product, he sends a memo to a small group of more experienced publishers explaining his concept and asking them to poke holes in it.
By getting their criticism early, he doesn't feel its sting. After all, it's not his baby that is being criticized. It's just an idea. And ideas, as we all know, are not worth anything until they are put into action.
Another benefit – and this is a big one – is that it saves him time and frustration. By getting input on an idea before he's done a lot of work on it, it is much easier for him to make changes.
By Michael Masterson
One of the most surprising and disappointing things about reaching an important goal is that many people won't share your happiness when they hear about it. Some will even criticize your achievement.
This has happened to me a lot in my success-driven life. The criticism always hurts – but it hurts less now than it did when I was younger. Moreover, I've learned to profit from it. You can too.
What's important, I've found, is not the criticism itself but how I react to it. Praise motivates me to do more of what I'm doing. Criticism – which used to make me want to quit – spurs me to examine what I'm doing and see if I can do it better.
Here's an example. This happened after I published an article in my Ready, Fire, Aim newsletter about the economy. Two of my most esteemed colleagues read it, didn't like it, and chastised me for bad writing. That set me aback. I consider myself to be a pretty good writer, but they made me wonder if I was really just a shallow-minded pundit of mediocrity.
After doubting myself for a few days, I set to the task of profiting from their comments. I reread what they said and made notes on those points I thought were valid. I circulated my notes to Jason, Suzanne, and Judith, my editors. That began an ongoing discussion about how we could improve Ready, Fire, Aim. And we came up with a few good ideas.
I then wrote to my two friends who were nice enough to honestly critique my article. I thanked them for helping me make the newsletter better. And I meant it.
In What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Marshall Goldsmith talks about how important feedback is to success:
"Feedback is very useful for telling us 'where we are.' Without feedback... we couldn't have results. We couldn't keep score. We wouldn't know if we were getting better or worse. Just as salespeople need feedback on what's selling and leaders need feedback on how they are perceived by their subordinates, we all need feedback to see where we are, where we need to go, and to measure our progress."
Goldsmith acknowledges that negative feedback "can be employed by others to reinforce our feelings of failure, or at least remind us of them – and our reaction is rarely positive." Worst of all, negative feedback can sometimes shut us down. "We close ranks, turn into our shell, and shut the world out."
When Goldsmith was a child, his mother told him he had no mechanical skills. He went through high school believing that, and, when he was 18, scored at the bottom of the entire nation in a test given by the U.S. Army.
A few years later, a professor persuaded him to take another look at his mechanical abilities. That's when he realized his mother was wrong, and he was "just living out the expectations [he] had chosen to believe."
So that might be the first thing to say about profiting from criticism. Recognize that a negative comment about you or your abilities cannot damage you unless you let it.
Goldsmith says that he wasted years, convinced that he was mechanically inept. But he didn't blame his mother. He blamed himself. "I was the one who kept telling myself, 'You can't do this!' I realized that as long as I kept saying that, it was going to be true."
Here are some useful techniques for profiting from criticism.
1. Remember that criticism is the price of success.
As writer Elbert Hubbard said, "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." So if you do something, you're going to be subject to criticism. Presidents get criticized. Clint Eastwood gets criticized. Even Mother Theresa was criticized. The more success you have, the more criticism you will engender. Some of it will be helpful. Most of it will be useless. But don't be afraid of it. It won't kill you. It will only make you stronger.
2. Dump your failure-support group.
This group includes jealous friends, professional enemies, and habitual critics. These people get their kicks from kicking you when you are up. They want you to be down where they are. Don't go there. Just ignore them.
3. If you can't ignore your critics, frame your responses strategically.
Sometimes, you won't be able to ignore your critics – if, for example the criticism is coming from your boss or your family. That's when you need to stay calm and respond strategically.
In Self-Esteem, Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning recommend a technique they call "clouding." "Clouding involves a token agreement with a critic. It is used when criticism is neither constructive nor accurate. When you use clouding to deal with criticism, you are saying to the critic, 'Yes, some of what is on your screen is on my screen.' But to yourself you add, 'And some isn't.' You 'cloud' by agreeing in part, probability, or principle."
Agreeing in part – finding one part of your critic's comments to agree with or acknowledge.
The Criticism: You're not reliable. You forget to pick up the kids, you let the bills pile up until we could lose the roof over our heads, and I can't ever count on you to be there when I need you.
Your Response: You're certainly right that I did forget to pick up the kids last week after their swimming lesson.
Agreeing in probability – acknowledging that there's a possibility your critic could be right. The chances may be a million to one against it, but you can truthfully say, "It's possible you're right."
The Criticism: Starting a business now is a terrible idea. The economy is in the crapper, and you're just wasting time and money.
Your Response: Yes, it's possible that my business won't work out.
Agreeing in principle – acknowledging the logic of your critic's argument, but not necessarily agreeing with his assumptions. This clouding technique uses the conditional "if/then" format.
The Criticism: You're really taking a chance by claiming all these deductions you don't have receipts for. The IRS is cracking down. You're just asking for an audit. It's stupid to try to save a few bucks and bring them down on you like a pack of bloodhounds.
Your Response: You're right. If I take the deductions, I'll be attracting more attention to myself. And if I get audited, it will be a real hassle.
4. Take helpful criticism seriously.
Helpful criticism is sometimes harsh but it's always well intended. It's not hard to identify it. The hard thing is to accept that it is helpful and use it to improve yourself.
In Succeed for Yourself: Unlock Your Potential for Success and Happiness, Richard Denny says, "Constructive criticism is not negative, so be enthusiastic about it. Remember, you are very fortunate if you receive it. Encourage others to offer constructive criticism."
5. Thank your critics.
I make it a habit to send a personal "thank you" to anyone whose criticism has helped me do better work.
6. Solicit criticism – from people you respect – while there is plenty of time to make changes.
One of the most successful publishers I know does this regularly. When considering the launch of a new product, he sends a memo to a small group of more experienced publishers explaining his concept and asking them to poke holes in it.
By getting their criticism early, he doesn't feel its sting. After all, it's not his baby that is being criticized. It's just an idea. And ideas, as we all know, are not worth anything until they are put into action.
Another benefit – and this is a big one – is that it saves him time and frustration. By getting input on an idea before he's done a lot of work on it, it is much easier for him to make changes.
When No One Else Believes in You
Once Upon a Time
There was a young man whose mother feared the worst for him. Would he end up like his alcoholic father, squandering his potential due to drink? Would he waste his money and years of his life on a no-good education, only to wind up working in a factory for barely more than minimum wage? Or did he have a plan that he truly believed in, and knew that he would achieve, so long as he never, ever gave up?
We shall see,
Craig Ballantyne
Wisdom from Matt Smith's 4-year old daughter:
"Everyone's stronger than they think they are."
Don't forget that this week, no matter what happens. You're stronger than you think. Never give up.
The year was 1999 and things were not going according to my mother's plan.
Her only son was still in University (that's what we call 'college' in Canada) at the age of 24 and when he spent the summers at home working in a factory to pay for his schooling, he would often stay out at the local bars until 3 or 4 in the morning, sometimes three nights in a row.
Not only was he not living up to her dreams, she was worried that his behavior would lead to her worst nightmare, that her boy would end up drinking himself into irrelevancy like his father.
She didn't have a lot of faith in her son's choice of schooling, either. At this point in her life, the only other Kinesiology graduate (my degree) she had ever met was the latest worker on the factory floor where she had been an office administrator for over 27 years.
Was this the fate of her son as well? Earning $12 an hour in an unsure industry, one that could be struck by sudden layoffs?
These thoughts terrified my mother. She was almost certain that I had wasted four years and tens of thousands of dollars getting a degree that would lead me back to the factory.
But that was her nightmare, and her nightmare only.
I knew everything was going to workout just fine.
Why?
Because I knew. I just knew.
I never, ever, not for a single second, ever-ever had any doubts about my future. There were ZERO self-limiting beliefs in my mind.
When no one else believes in you, sometimes you have to go it alone.
When you truly believe in yourself, sometimes you have to go it alone.
Some of the most memorable success stories in history have had to go it alone.
Back when I started McMaster University, I had full intentions of becoming a Strength and Conditioning Coach in the NHL. Not your average plan for a high school kid, but it required a specific plan that I stuck with for the next six years, first acquiring my Kinesiology degree, then my Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist designation, and finally a Master's Degree in Exercise Physiology.
I planned my work, and worked my plan, as Nido Qubein says.
At the same time as my mother's nightmares for her son were growing stronger, my outlook for the future was getting brighter. I was so confident in myself that when I was 24, I sent a letter and a resume to every team in the National Hockey League, offering my Strength and Conditioning services to their athletes.
Unfortunately for that dream, they all sent back rejection letters. Letters that I still have packed away in the closet of my childhood bedroom at my mother's house.
Letters that make me smile today, because they represent another point in my life where I overcame rejection and the fear of failure to press on towards my goals and dreams of helping people.
Fortunately, it was right around the same time I was getting 'rejected' that I discovered my true calling in life. It all started when I stumbled upon a website while using the computers in the Health Sciences Library at McMaster. The website I had discovered was posting fitness articles and seemed to be developing quite a following through this model of delivering great free content.
Being the young know-it-all that I was, I thought, "I can do that", and started writing my own content for an email newsletter sent to friends, family, and colleagues. I did this all without a website, and eventually even sent unsolicited articles to Men's Health magazine in 2000. To my surprise and delight, the editor accepted my content and I've been writing for the biggest fitness publication for over 12 years.
Eventually I sold my first online product via Paypal in 2001 to clients who had discovered my work through the MensHealth.com website.
And the rest is history.
But again, through this entire journey, no matter how many rejection 'letters' I'd get or tough days I had to endure, there was never doubt that I would succeed.
That said, there's nothing exceptional about me.
I'm average height, average intelligence, average physical ability, and far-BELOW-average in decision-making (seriously, I've made some extremely stupid decisions in my life).
I suppose, if anything, I'm exceptional in my ability to persevere. To take a licking and keep on ticking.
But that's it. Nothing else.
You are likely smarter and better looking than I am, or at least you can make better decisions.
The question is, will you have the same "never quit attitude"? Will you be able to overcome the doubts that others are trying to impose on you?
Because that is what REALLY sets the success stories apart from the folks who struggle.
The BIG LESSON is this:
The only thing exceptional about successful people is their ability to do the work.
Few success stories occur because the person is a super-genius. Almost all success stories are based on perseverance and a commitment and consistency to doing the work and believing in themselves.
As Thomas Edison once said, "The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense."
Listen, when you get started, there are always going to be what Seth Godin calls, "The Dips".
That's where you struggle, and that's where some people do - and should - give up.
Yes, that's right. Sometimes people should give up, because what they are offering isn't right, or it's not their passion.
But with a good idea and passion, you'll get through that dip.
As long as you believe in yourself.
Never let the limiting beliefs of others get in the way of your success. Instead, stick to your beliefs, persevere, and never give up on something that you know is right for you.
That's all you can do when no one else believes in you.
Thursday 5 April 2012
Zip-the-Lip Theory
It's important to share your vision and goals with positive people who will support you. However, when it comes to what you are working on, sometimes it is better to show the world, rather than telling the world. Robert Ringer explains today.
Craig Ballantyne
"You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action." – Anthony Robbins
As I watch the daily news, I am constantly reminded that an oversized ego can be the biggest obstacle to long-term success. Of course, everyone has an ego, so it's pointless to delude yourself into believing you're an exception. It's far better to acknowledge the existence of your ego and try to keep it under control.
A hungry ego is like a dinosaur lying on your front lawn. If you don't continually feed it, it might just decide to get up and step on your house. At its extreme, a bloated ego can even result in Egoruptcy, a form of bankruptcy caused by the investment of too much time and capital in one's vanity.
It's also wise to avoid becoming involved with others who appear to be afflicted with this insidious disease. Feeding the ego is habit forming and can lead the addict to commit dishonest acts in his desperation to feed his habit. And when he goes down for the count, he's liable to take you with him.
Following are some telltale signs of an individual suffering from Egoruptcy.
- Trying to impress others with how well he's doing. (The more someone volunteers to tell you about his accomplishments, the less likely it is that he's accomplished much of anything.)
- Constantly mouthing off about the deals he's working on.
- Lavishly refurbishing his offices.
- Talking incessantly about what he owns.
- Talking incessantly about who he knows.
When most or all of the above signs are evident, the Egoruptcy clearly is in its advanced stages and the patient's condition has probably deteriorated beyond hope. Best you shield your face when passing him to avoid becoming infected.
How can you tell if you are developing Early Onset Egoruptcy? The most common symptom is perpetual movement of the mouth and tongue, especially when triggered by the desire to tell others about your plans.
Some years ago, I developed what I believe to be the perfect antidote to this constant, ego-feeding babbling. I refer to it simply as the Zip-the-Lip Theory, which states: If you've got something good going, shut up!
Put more gently: Learn to be both quiet and patient. The safest way to operate is behind the scenes with a low profile. There's seldom anything to be gained by giving the world advance notice of your objectives. How many times have you jumped the gun and talked about your plans, only to be embarrassed when they fell through?
If you manage to achieve your desired end, people will know about it soon enough. You may even gain a reputation for being humble as a result of not shooting off your mouth about what you're working on. Always remember, people love humility and hate arrogance.
The next time you're tempted to make a premature announcement to the world, remember that Old Man Murphy (of Murphy's Law fame) is out there somewhere, lying in wait to trip you up. It's simply not worth the risk of having a bunch of neurotics jealously gnashing their teeth and doing everything possible to see to it that you end up dining on your own words some fine evening.
The best way to let others know what you're going to do is to actually do it. The more confident you are about what you intend to accomplish, the less reason you'll have to risk putting your foot in your mouth. Your ego will be more than sufficiently assuaged, massaged, and patted after you have succeeded.
And the more you succeed, the more reason you'll have to feel secure, which should result in your having less of an urge to talk about your plans and more of a desire to produce results. Getting your ego out of the way gives you a clear mind to focus on success.
Granted, it can be difficult to suppress the instant-gratification urge to be highly thought of. But there's a big difference betweendifficult and impossible. No one can force you to do the wrong thing. Remember, the choice is always yours. A lot of things are difficult but not impossible. You always have a choice.
As retired Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade (played by Al Pacino) put it in the film classic Scent of a Woman, "I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard." Translation: You always have a choice.
What is your choice when it comes to instant ego gratification versus long-term success?
Zip the Lip
By Robert Ringer
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