Thursday 12 April 2012

I've always liked this definition of success from Dave Kekich. He wrote, "You're successful when you like who and what you are. Success includes achievement...while choosing and directing your own activities. It means enjoying intimate relationships and loving what you do in life."

Craig Ballantyne

You control everything. Your success is your responsibility.

A Secret to Your Success

By Bob Bly

A few years ago, I was part of a panel of supposedly successful people speaking to a room packed with about a thousand college seniors.

Our topic: how to be successful.

When it was my turn, I asked the students: "How many of you want to be successful?"

Every hand in the room shot up.

I then asked: "Who can tell me what success is?"

Not a single hand in the room was raised.

"If you don't know what success is," I asked the students, "then how are you going to get there?"

This is the dilemma facing many people I meet today.

They desperately want to be "successful."

But when you ask them what that would mean, they either can't give you a definitive answer, or they say it would be becoming a millionaire.

They define success by how much money they have because that's how the world keeps score.

But does becoming a millionaire really make you successful?

If you won the lottery or inherited the money, you are a millionaire – but are you really a success?

If you have to do something unethical or illegal to make that much money, are you really a success?

If you work marathon days at a job that makes you miserable – same question.

That's why early in my career, I thought about what success meant to me – not what others thought success is.

And I came up with this definition: Success is doing what I want to do ... when I want to do it ... with the people I want to work with ... and getting paid very, very well for it.

I don't claim this is a perfect definition for success. And it may not work for you. But it works for me and many others I have shared it with in my books and lectures.

Let's break down this definition of success piece by piece....

"Success is doing what I want to do."

To me, 90% of the secret of enjoying life is having a job or business you love ... one you're so excited and enthusiastic about, you jump out of bed every morning eager to get to your office and start the day.

After all, you spend more than half your waking hours working. If you don't like work – and millions of people don't – then your days will seem to drag on almost forever. It's close to torture.

Now, the mistake people make is to believe the old saying, "Pursue your passion and the money will follow."

There are plenty of things people are passionate about (e.g., 18th century Peruvian poetry) that may be fun and interesting but have close to zero money-making potential.

The trick is to pursue an interest of yours (e.g., restoring classic cars) that people will pay for.

Aristotle said words to the effect that wherein your passion intersects with the needs of the public, therein lies your vocation.

Next, success is doing what you love "when I want to do it."

This is why 9-to-5 employment was not for me: I resented being told what to do and when to do it.

I could not abide having my freedom taken away and being subject to someone else's whims at their beck and call.

And so I quite to become a freelance copywriter.

One of the dangers of self-employment is the crisis-lull-crisis rhythm of so many businesses.

To protect yourself against the slow times, you should create multiple streams of income – some active, some passive.

I have 5 income streams: (a) copywriting, (b) consulting, (c) Internet marketing, (d) writing books, and (e) giving workshops and seminars.

That way, I am always busy. If copywriting would ever slow, as happened a few times very early in my career, I would turn to the book I had under contract or do some workshops.

The best thing is that, being self-employed, I can largely work on tasks and projects when I want to do them, not when someone else tells me to do them.

Even meetings and conference calls are scheduled by me when I want to and can do them, not when someone else commands me to.

My old friend DH says, "I don't like taking orders, and I don't like giving orders." I feel the same way.

That's why, aside from my administrative assistant, JV, I work alone. And JV is a virtual assistant, so I really am alone all day, as I prefer.

Success is doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, "with the people I want to work with."

By working diligently and consistently to build my copywriting practice, I could soon pick and choose the clients I accepted.

This way I could work only with people I like and respect – and only on projects that interest me.

If you are in a service business, figure out how much self-promotion you need to do to fill your book of business ... and then do twice that amount of marketing.

This will fill your lead pipeline to overflowing and allow you to pick and choose what clients and assignments you take on.

The last part of my success formula: "getting paid very, very well."

Goal setting experts would find fault with this statement, because it does not specify a dollar amount of money.

Well, I live in an affluent neighborhood. So I decided that for me, getting paid well meant earning 4X or more per year than my average neighbor.

You may have a different money goal: higher annual earnings or the accumulation of a net worth of a certain dollar amount; i.e. a million bucks.

That's a valuable and laudable goal, but it simply isn't part of my personal success definition. But by all means, if you want it to be part of your success definition, go for it.

One other thing....

I have a litmus test for your definition of success, and it's simple: Does it allow you to live comfortably? Does it make you happy?

If you can say yes, then you are successful. At least in my eyes. And I hope in yours, too

Monday 9 April 2012

You CAN get rid of those negative thoughts

It happened yesterday, or the day before.
Maybe months ago. Or years ago.
But you're still hanging on.
You carry that anger or that resentment.
You think about it and you get upset.
Or Angry.
You feel like somebody stole something from you
How could you be so foolish
How could you make such a mistake
Everyday you beat yourself up over it.
You can't change what happened in the past.
But you just can't let go.
So you keep remembering it.
And when you do you fill your mind with negative thoughts.
You can't sleep.
You want to do something but don't know what.
You just keep hanging on to those memories.
You keep thinking about what happened.
The negative thoughts keep coming...
You just can't let go...
But you CAN let go.
You have to let got
And you CAN move on.
You CAN stop beating yourself up
You CAN get rid of those negative thoughts

Savoring Your Time - Tony Schwartz - Harvard Business Review

Savoring Your Time - Tony Schwartz - Harvard Business Review:

'via Blog this'

Six Secrets to Creating a Culture of Innovation - Tony Schwartz - Harvard Business Review

Six Secrets to Creating a Culture of Innovation - Tony Schwartz - Harvard Business Review:

'via Blog this'

5 ways to healthier employees - 1. Blunt the blow (1) - CNNMoney

5 ways to healthier employees - 1. Blunt the blow (1) - CNNMoney:

'via Blog this'

Here are ten easy ways to improve your memory and prevent Alzheimers.

   Add some of these things to your diet:
   1)Cinnamon
   2) Maca
   3) Parsley
   4) Coconut
   5) Strawberries
   6) Shitake Mushrooms
   7) Apples
   8) Radishes
Additionally

   9) Learn something new each day
   10) Do crossword puzzles or something to challenge
   your brain frequently.
Adding just one of these things to your diet each day will improve your memory by 20% over a month's time.
Adding more than that will obviously improve your memory every quicker.
I estimate that about 70% of you who are reading this right now, are finding yourself more forgetful these days.
When you improve your mind and your memory, you also make better decisions.
Here's to your health and well being.

What's the secret to tripling productivity?

By Craig Ballantyne

Is there something missing in your life – dance, sports, time with family? Become more productive, decide on how best to spend your time, and make that missing activity part of your life again.

I call it my Magic Time.

And the good news is that you have your own version of it, too.

Everyone does.

Let me explain.

We all have a time in our day when we are literally THREE times as productive as any other time of day. All you have to do is identify that time, recognize its importance, free up that time, and then ruthlessly protect it from the time vampires who try to suck it away from you.

Back in 2004 I discovered that my magic time was early in the morning. Each day at 4:30am I would get up and work on my Internet business for twenty minutes before hopping in the shower and racing to catch the city bus into downtown Toronto where I was a personal trainer to CEO's and entrepreneurs.

Each morning it became harder and harder to pull myself away from the project I was working on before my real job began. I even worked on the bus ride downtown, and in the few minutes I had between clients.

After several months I was faced with a decision. Do I continue on with this 'scrimping' of magic time, or do I make sacrifices to free up the magic time so that I could take giant steps toward my ultimate goal of financial freedom through my Internet business?

You can guess the answer.

I made up my mind to sacrifice income in the short term (by introducing my clients to other trainers who could service them with the same attention to detail as I did) so that I could have more of my magic time devoted to my long–term goals.

This decision made all the difference in the world.

I could write articles in fifteen minutes in the morning, but these articles would take me three or four times as long later in the day. I kept my afternoon clients (when I was unproductive as a writer), and spent my mornings creating products and inspirational messages for my fitness email readers.

It hurt me at first, but paid off handsomely in the long run, and it can for you, too.

First you have to identify your magic time. It's not hard to do, but it just requires a little exercise I learned from George Ross, Donald Trump's right hand man and long–time business lawyer.

Years ago, at a Dan Kennedy SuperConference, George was one of the keynote speakers. It was in that speech that he introduced me to Donald Trump's time journaling method. It's a simple little task that will help you identify your magic time, as well as the habits that rob you of your time each day.

All you need to do is get a journal or notebook and write down your workday in fifteen minute increments on each line. For example, if your workday starts at 8am, you'll have a line dedicated to 8:00, 8:15, 8:30, and so on, all the way to the end of your day (and I actually recommend doing this for all of your waking hours).

Your next task is to simply record what you are doing in each of those fifteen minute increments. If you find yourself surfing the web aimlessly at 9:15am, write that down. That's one of the bad time habits you'll need to fix.

More importantly, you'll also begin to identify your most productive work time. For example, you might find that you can really crank out the work in the final two hours of the day. That might be your magic time. Once you identify it, the next step then becomes crucial.

Now you must foster it and protect it. You'll need to take your phone off the ringer, shut down your email alerts, keep yourself blocked from the Internet, and avoid all distractions.

Your magic time is priority number one, because you can truly triple your productivity in this time.

It's so simple, yet powerful. If you can use this to get more done in the limited time you have for work, it will mean freeing up more time for the activities you enjoy and the people that matter the most to you. Take your Magic Time very, very seriously.

Identify your magic time. Work it. And guard it like my dog, Bally, guards his dinner dish. Don't let anyone else get their greedy lil' paws on your Magic Time. Protect it ruthlessly and you will prosper.

Criticism is the Price of Success

"Criticism is necessary and useful; it is often indispensable; but it can never take the place of action, or be even a poor substitute for it. The function of the mere critic is of very subordinate usefulness. It is the doer of deeds who actually counts in the battle for life, and not the man who looks on and says how the fight ought to be fought, without himself sharing the stress and the danger." – Theodore Roosevelt

By Michael Masterson

One of the most surprising and disappointing things about reaching an important goal is that many people won't share your happiness when they hear about it. Some will even criticize your achievement.

This has happened to me a lot in my success-driven life. The criticism always hurts – but it hurts less now than it did when I was younger. Moreover, I've learned to profit from it. You can too.

What's important, I've found, is not the criticism itself but how I react to it. Praise motivates me to do more of what I'm doing. Criticism – which used to make me want to quit – spurs me to examine what I'm doing and see if I can do it better.

Here's an example. This happened after I published an article in my Ready, Fire, Aim newsletter about the economy. Two of my most esteemed colleagues read it, didn't like it, and chastised me for bad writing. That set me aback. I consider myself to be a pretty good writer, but they made me wonder if I was really just a shallow-minded pundit of mediocrity.

After doubting myself for a few days, I set to the task of profiting from their comments. I reread what they said and made notes on those points I thought were valid. I circulated my notes to Jason, Suzanne, and Judith, my editors. That began an ongoing discussion about how we could improve Ready, Fire, Aim. And we came up with a few good ideas.

I then wrote to my two friends who were nice enough to honestly critique my article. I thanked them for helping me make the newsletter better. And I meant it.

In What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Marshall Goldsmith talks about how important feedback is to success:

"Feedback is very useful for telling us 'where we are.' Without feedback... we couldn't have results. We couldn't keep score. We wouldn't know if we were getting better or worse. Just as salespeople need feedback on what's selling and leaders need feedback on how they are perceived by their subordinates, we all need feedback to see where we are, where we need to go, and to measure our progress."

Goldsmith acknowledges that negative feedback "can be employed by others to reinforce our feelings of failure, or at least remind us of them – and our reaction is rarely positive." Worst of all, negative feedback can sometimes shut us down. "We close ranks, turn into our shell, and shut the world out."

When Goldsmith was a child, his mother told him he had no mechanical skills. He went through high school believing that, and, when he was 18, scored at the bottom of the entire nation in a test given by the U.S. Army.

A few years later, a professor persuaded him to take another look at his mechanical abilities. That's when he realized his mother was wrong, and he was "just living out the expectations [he] had chosen to believe."

So that might be the first thing to say about profiting from criticism. Recognize that a negative comment about you or your abilities cannot damage you unless you let it.

Goldsmith says that he wasted years, convinced that he was mechanically inept. But he didn't blame his mother. He blamed himself. "I was the one who kept telling myself, 'You can't do this!' I realized that as long as I kept saying that, it was going to be true."

Here are some useful techniques for profiting from criticism.

1. Remember that criticism is the price of success.

As writer Elbert Hubbard said, "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." So if you do something, you're going to be subject to criticism. Presidents get criticized. Clint Eastwood gets criticized. Even Mother Theresa was criticized. The more success you have, the more criticism you will engender. Some of it will be helpful. Most of it will be useless. But don't be afraid of it. It won't kill you. It will only make you stronger.

2. Dump your failure-support group.

This group includes jealous friends, professional enemies, and habitual critics. These people get their kicks from kicking you when you are up. They want you to be down where they are. Don't go there. Just ignore them.

3. If you can't ignore your critics, frame your responses strategically.

Sometimes, you won't be able to ignore your critics – if, for example the criticism is coming from your boss or your family. That's when you need to stay calm and respond strategically.

In Self-Esteem, Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning recommend a technique they call "clouding." "Clouding involves a token agreement with a critic. It is used when criticism is neither constructive nor accurate. When you use clouding to deal with criticism, you are saying to the critic, 'Yes, some of what is on your screen is on my screen.' But to yourself you add, 'And some isn't.' You 'cloud' by agreeing in part, probability, or principle."

Agreeing in part – finding one part of your critic's comments to agree with or acknowledge.

The Criticism: You're not reliable. You forget to pick up the kids, you let the bills pile up until we could lose the roof over our heads, and I can't ever count on you to be there when I need you.

Your Response: You're certainly right that I did forget to pick up the kids last week after their swimming lesson.

Agreeing in probability – acknowledging that there's a possibility your critic could be right. The chances may be a million to one against it, but you can truthfully say, "It's possible you're right."

The Criticism: Starting a business now is a terrible idea. The economy is in the crapper, and you're just wasting time and money.

Your Response: Yes, it's possible that my business won't work out.

Agreeing in principle – acknowledging the logic of your critic's argument, but not necessarily agreeing with his assumptions. This clouding technique uses the conditional "if/then" format.

The Criticism: You're really taking a chance by claiming all these deductions you don't have receipts for. The IRS is cracking down. You're just asking for an audit. It's stupid to try to save a few bucks and bring them down on you like a pack of bloodhounds.

Your Response: You're right. If I take the deductions, I'll be attracting more attention to myself. And if I get audited, it will be a real hassle.

4. Take helpful criticism seriously.

Helpful criticism is sometimes harsh but it's always well intended. It's not hard to identify it. The hard thing is to accept that it is helpful and use it to improve yourself.

In Succeed for Yourself: Unlock Your Potential for Success and Happiness, Richard Denny says, "Constructive criticism is not negative, so be enthusiastic about it. Remember, you are very fortunate if you receive it. Encourage others to offer constructive criticism."

5. Thank your critics.

I make it a habit to send a personal "thank you" to anyone whose criticism has helped me do better work.

6. Solicit criticism – from people you respect – while there is plenty of time to make changes.

One of the most successful publishers I know does this regularly. When considering the launch of a new product, he sends a memo to a small group of more experienced publishers explaining his concept and asking them to poke holes in it.

By getting their criticism early, he doesn't feel its sting. After all, it's not his baby that is being criticized. It's just an idea. And ideas, as we all know, are not worth anything until they are put into action.

Another benefit – and this is a big one – is that it saves him time and frustration. By getting input on an idea before he's done a lot of work on it, it is much easier for him to make changes.

When No One Else Believes in You

Once Upon a Time
There was a young man whose mother feared the worst for him. Would he end up like his alcoholic father, squandering his potential due to drink? Would he waste his money and years of his life on a no-good education, only to wind up working in a factory for barely more than minimum wage? Or did he have a plan that he truly believed in, and knew that he would achieve, so long as he never, ever gave up?

We shall see,

Craig Ballantyne

Wisdom from Matt Smith's 4-year old daughter:

"Everyone's stronger than they think they are."

Don't forget that this week, no matter what happens. You're stronger than you think. Never give up.

The year was 1999 and things were not going according to my mother's plan.

Her only son was still in University (that's what we call 'college' in Canada) at the age of 24 and when he spent the summers at home working in a factory to pay for his schooling, he would often stay out at the local bars until 3 or 4 in the morning, sometimes three nights in a row.

Not only was he not living up to her dreams, she was worried that his behavior would lead to her worst nightmare, that her boy would end up drinking himself into irrelevancy like his father.

She didn't have a lot of faith in her son's choice of schooling, either. At this point in her life, the only other Kinesiology graduate (my degree) she had ever met was the latest worker on the factory floor where she had been an office administrator for over 27 years.

Was this the fate of her son as well? Earning $12 an hour in an unsure industry, one that could be struck by sudden layoffs?

These thoughts terrified my mother. She was almost certain that I had wasted four years and tens of thousands of dollars getting a degree that would lead me back to the factory.

But that was her nightmare, and her nightmare only.

I knew everything was going to workout just fine.

Why?

Because I knew. I just knew.

I never, ever, not for a single second, ever-ever had any doubts about my future. There were ZERO self-limiting beliefs in my mind.

When no one else believes in you, sometimes you have to go it alone.

When you truly believe in yourself, sometimes you have to go it alone.

Some of the most memorable success stories in history have had to go it alone.

Back when I started McMaster University, I had full intentions of becoming a Strength and Conditioning Coach in the NHL. Not your average plan for a high school kid, but it required a specific plan that I stuck with for the next six years, first acquiring my Kinesiology degree, then my Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist designation, and finally a Master's Degree in Exercise Physiology.

I planned my work, and worked my plan, as Nido Qubein says.

At the same time as my mother's nightmares for her son were growing stronger, my outlook for the future was getting brighter. I was so confident in myself that when I was 24, I sent a letter and a resume to every team in the National Hockey League, offering my Strength and Conditioning services to their athletes.

Unfortunately for that dream, they all sent back rejection letters. Letters that I still have packed away in the closet of my childhood bedroom at my mother's house.

Letters that make me smile today, because they represent another point in my life where I overcame rejection and the fear of failure to press on towards my goals and dreams of helping people.

Fortunately, it was right around the same time I was getting 'rejected' that I discovered my true calling in life. It all started when I stumbled upon a website while using the computers in the Health Sciences Library at McMaster. The website I had discovered was posting fitness articles and seemed to be developing quite a following through this model of delivering great free content.

Being the young know-it-all that I was, I thought, "I can do that", and started writing my own content for an email newsletter sent to friends, family, and colleagues. I did this all without a website, and eventually even sent unsolicited articles to Men's Health magazine in 2000. To my surprise and delight, the editor accepted my content and I've been writing for the biggest fitness publication for over 12 years.

Eventually I sold my first online product via Paypal in 2001 to clients who had discovered my work through the MensHealth.com website.

And the rest is history.

But again, through this entire journey, no matter how many rejection 'letters' I'd get or tough days I had to endure, there was never doubt that I would succeed.

That said, there's nothing exceptional about me.

I'm average height, average intelligence, average physical ability, and far-BELOW-average in decision-making (seriously, I've made some extremely stupid decisions in my life).

I suppose, if anything, I'm exceptional in my ability to persevere. To take a licking and keep on ticking.

But that's it. Nothing else.

You are likely smarter and better looking than I am, or at least you can make better decisions.

The question is, will you have the same "never quit attitude"? Will you be able to overcome the doubts that others are trying to impose on you?

Because that is what REALLY sets the success stories apart from the folks who struggle.

The BIG LESSON is this:

The only thing exceptional about successful people is their ability to do the work.

Few success stories occur because the person is a super-genius. Almost all success stories are based on perseverance and a commitment and consistency to doing the work and believing in themselves.

As Thomas Edison once said, "The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense."

Listen, when you get started, there are always going to be what Seth Godin calls, "The Dips".

That's where you struggle, and that's where some people do - and should - give up.

Yes, that's right. Sometimes people should give up, because what they are offering isn't right, or it's not their passion.

But with a good idea and passion, you'll get through that dip.

As long as you believe in yourself.

Never let the limiting beliefs of others get in the way of your success. Instead, stick to your beliefs, persevere, and never give up on something that you know is right for you.

That's all you can do when no one else believes in you.

Thursday 5 April 2012

Zip-the-Lip Theory

It's important to share your vision and goals with positive people who will support you. However, when it comes to what you are working on, sometimes it is better to show the world, rather than telling the world. Robert Ringer explains today.

Craig Ballantyne

"You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action." – Anthony Robbins

As I watch the daily news, I am constantly reminded that an oversized ego can be the biggest obstacle to long-term success. Of course, everyone has an ego, so it's pointless to delude yourself into believing you're an exception. It's far better to acknowledge the existence of your ego and try to keep it under control.

A hungry ego is like a dinosaur lying on your front lawn. If you don't continually feed it, it might just decide to get up and step on your house. At its extreme, a bloated ego can even result in Egoruptcy, a form of bankruptcy caused by the investment of too much time and capital in one's vanity.

It's also wise to avoid becoming involved with others who appear to be afflicted with this insidious disease. Feeding the ego is habit forming and can lead the addict to commit dishonest acts in his desperation to feed his habit. And when he goes down for the count, he's liable to take you with him.

Following are some telltale signs of an individual suffering from Egoruptcy.

Trying to impress others with how well he's doing. (The more someone volunteers to tell you about his accomplishments, the less likely it is that he's accomplished much of anything.)

Constantly mouthing off about the deals he's working on.

Lavishly refurbishing his offices.

Talking incessantly about what he owns.

Talking incessantly about who he knows.

When most or all of the above signs are evident, the Egoruptcy clearly is in its advanced stages and the patient's condition has probably deteriorated beyond hope. Best you shield your face when passing him to avoid becoming infected.

How can you tell if you are developing Early Onset Egoruptcy? The most common symptom is perpetual movement of the mouth and tongue, especially when triggered by the desire to tell others about your plans.

Some years ago, I developed what I believe to be the perfect antidote to this constant, ego-feeding babbling. I refer to it simply as the Zip-the-Lip Theory, which states: If you've got something good going, shut up!

Put more gently: Learn to be both quiet and patient. The safest way to operate is behind the scenes with a low profile. There's seldom anything to be gained by giving the world advance notice of your objectives. How many times have you jumped the gun and talked about your plans, only to be embarrassed when they fell through?

If you manage to achieve your desired end, people will know about it soon enough. You may even gain a reputation for being humble as a result of not shooting off your mouth about what you're working on. Always remember, people love humility and hate arrogance.

The next time you're tempted to make a premature announcement to the world, remember that Old Man Murphy (of Murphy's Law fame) is out there somewhere, lying in wait to trip you up. It's simply not worth the risk of having a bunch of neurotics jealously gnashing their teeth and doing everything possible to see to it that you end up dining on your own words some fine evening.

The best way to let others know what you're going to do is to actually do it. The more confident you are about what you intend to accomplish, the less reason you'll have to risk putting your foot in your mouth. Your ego will be more than sufficiently assuaged, massaged, and patted after you have succeeded.

And the more you succeed, the more reason you'll have to feel secure, which should result in your having less of an urge to talk about your plans and more of a desire to produce results. Getting your ego out of the way gives you a clear mind to focus on success.

Granted, it can be difficult to suppress the instant-gratification urge to be highly thought of. But there's a big difference betweendifficult and impossible. No one can force you to do the wrong thing. Remember, the choice is always yours. A lot of things are difficult but not impossible. You always have a choice.

As retired Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade (played by Al Pacino) put it in the film classic Scent of a Woman, "I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard." Translation: You always have a choice.

What is your choice when it comes to instant ego gratification versus long-term success?

Zip the Lip

By Robert Ringer

Friday 30 March 2012

How to Deal With Manipulative People–Part Two

By Ryan Murdoch

In Part One of this article I introduced you to a personality type I call The Manipulator: a covert operator who imposes on your time and resources to serve his or her own ends. If you didn't read Part One I strongly advise you to have a look here.

Today I'm going to tell you exactly how to smoke out these sneaky time stealers.

How to Spot a Manipulator

Here are some common warning signs that will help you spot the manipulators in your life:

– Manipulators use a lot of "I" focused language. "I need you to do this" or "It would really help me if you did this." They rarely consider how to give value back to the person they're asking for favors.

– Manipulators use a collective "we" that really means "I."Try translating what they just said by substituting "I" for "we". If all the benefits that will supposedly help the group, team or community really end up profiting that person alone, you've just spotted an attempt to manipulate you.

– Manipulators "size you up" to assess where you're vulnerable. They use this to determine which tactics to use against you. Strong work ethic? You can be manipulated through your sense of duty. Empathetic? They can make you feel sorry for them. Intensely loyal? They'll use that sense of friendship to their advantage. Just remember, the problem is NOT that you're loyal, caring or a hard worker. The problem is the person who uses that to manipulate your thoughts and actions. Most people don't stop to think that their strengths can also be a weakness. But your strengths and values can be used against you because they make your behavior predictable.

– Manipulators make a big show of talking about how dedicated they are to serving others. According to George K. Simon, author of In Sheep's Clothing, they use the "servant role" to cloak a self–serving agenda in the guise of service to a more noble cause, for example acting in a certain way out of "obedience" and "service" to some authority figure. I've known a few incredibly genuine, spiritual, charitable people in my time. They spoke at great length about those they wanted to help, the needs they were trying to meet, the good works they hoped to do and the resources it would take to accomplish their vision. But I never once heard them talk about themselves or how devoted they were to "service."

– Manipulators often make a great show of their humility, and they take any opportunity to remind you of it. This makes them look harmless, and like they're "only trying to help." Have you ever heard the Dalai Lama talk about how humble he is? Me neither.

– The frustrated Manipulator often drags a history of drama in their wake: broken friendships, failed partnerships, stories of sabotaged projects and detractors lashing out at them from every dark corner. They love to tell you all about these things, sorrowfully and with a pious expression, in order to play on your sympathy. And despite the obvious pattern in these incidents, Manipulators never take responsibility for their behavior. It is never their fault. Someone has always betrayed or taken advantage of them.

– Manipulators rationalize. Their explanations seem to make sense. And you want to believe, because honest people want to believe that others are honest too. But their story never holds up upon further reflection. Up close, it's filled with obvious inconsistencies and holes.

– Manipulators flatter you. They pretend to like the same things you do. To believe the same things you believe. To hold the same values. They ingratiate themselves very subtlety in an effort to win your loyalty, so you'll want to help them. Watch them with a totally different group of people and see them do the same thing. They have a history of swapping beliefs and convictions the way hikers change socks.

– Manipulators make a point of telling you how honest they are–right before they rake you over. Honest people don't need to drone on about their virtues. Their actions and integrity speaks for itself.

This list is not exhaustive, of course. And not every red flag will be present in each case. But it does send a clear warning. If you encounter any of these behaviors, be on your guard.

How to Protect Yourself–And Your Dreams

Unfortunately there's no easy answer to this. Expert manipulators are good at pressing your buttons, and if you have even a shred of compassion you won't be impervious to every form of guilt.

In a work setting, I think the key is to set clear priorities and goals–and stick to them. Master the phrase "I'm not available right now." Defend your territory from the beginning, because once you give in it sends a message that you can be worn down. If you answer the phone on the 15th ring, it doesn't send the message that you're busy and don't want to be bothered. The Manipulator interprets this as "It takes 15 rings to get him to answer."

You must also be very clear about your own personal values.Think about them. Write them down. Stick to them. Having a clearly thought out code of conduct makes on–the–spot decisions much easier. If something conflicts with your code or your purpose, don't do it.

And that brings us to the next defense. Learn how to say "no."It's healthy to have boundaries and to know what you stand for. If you feel bad about turning someone down, you're a prime target for a manipulative personality. Remember: "I'm already committed, I'm not available right now." Manipulators have no power over you unless you give it to them.

Don't engage, and don't explain. The manipulator will try to call your values into question and put you on the defensive. You have no need to defend yourself, and you've done nothing wrong. You're free to follow whatever path you choose. Don't forget this when the pressure is on.

And what about those manipulators who operate closer to home?

It's a lot more difficult to set clear boundaries when it comes to close personal relationships, because you can't remove yourself from the situation or just stop interacting with them. In my experience, the best thing you can do is communicate your intentions clearly and firmly. And then stay true to your word. You'll have to ride out some flack regardless, but the Passive–Aggressive Manipulator will move on to easier targets if you consistently stick to your guns.

Above all, never feel guilty when dealing with these people.You never have to apologize for following your dreams and working hard on your goals. You never have to make excuses or justify your decision when you say "no". And you should never feel bad for refusing to drop or postpone your most cherished dream to contribute to someone else's purpose.

And that's what it comes down to in the end. Your best protection against guilt is having a clear, strong sense of your purpose.

I remind myself each day that life is short. That I have only a limited amount of time in which to fulfill my dreams. That time spent on other things is time taken away from the fulfillment of my purpose. I take full responsibility for my life, my choices, and my success. And I keep my eye on the road ahead, and get back to work

Thursday 29 March 2012

The Manipulator-

Ryan Murdoch has very aptly said: I'm sure you've encountered this character before. Not content to pursue their own path while you pursue yours, The Manipulator imposes on your time and resources to serve their own ends. They co-opt your labor, play on your emotions and try to impose their worldview and philosophy on you.

We'll look at several common examples of The Manipulator. And I'll give you a few strategies you can use to keep them out of your life.

So who are these shadowy figures that hide in plain sight?

If you've ever worked in a company or an office, you know the type. It starts with "I need to talk to you. It won't take long." And it usually concludes with an "urgent" request for you to do something to help them out. Something that imposes on your time, that takes you away from your own work, that they need you to do right now, and that adds a burden while giving you nothing in return.

This is not the same as asking a favor of a friend. We help our friends out of a genuine desire to do something good for that person. And when we ask a friend for help, we're reaching out to someone we know is looking out for our best interests. It's mutual and it's genuine.

The Manipulator's "requests" are very different from this. They involve coercion. And with The Manipulator, if you give in you send a signal that you're willing to do more of the same.

Before you know it, you're working weekends and staying after hours, putting in time to further someone else's agenda while totally neglecting your own purpose and goals. Step by step, these people take over your life. You're especially at risk if you have a strong work ethic and sense of responsibility, or if you hate seeing work left undone.

Another major area where manipulation has been raised to an art form is, of course, the family. I'm not suggesting that all families involve such power struggles, of course. It's just a typical pattern when things go wrong.

The family is often the realm of the Passive-Aggressive Manipulator. This type masters such tactics as The Sulk, The Huff, and above all, Poor Me.

They browbeat you into submission by making it easier for you to give in to their demands than put up with their constant level of low-grade psychological warfare.

If you've ever heard a phrase like, "I'll never have any grandchildren and I'm gonna die alone!" then you've seen this tactic at work. Or how about, "If you loved me you wouldn't make such a big deal of helping me with this" —immediately placing refusal on the side of not loving or caring about this person. Okay, the first example was a bit of a joke and an imitation of my mother at Christmas dinner. But how many unhappy couples have you seen playing out some variation of the second example?

Unfortunately, there's no arguing or reasoning with a Passive-Aggressive Manipulator. They don't respond to logic, and they change sides and arguments at the drop of a hat. Their chief goal is to get you embroiled in conflict in the first place. Swallow your reply, nod politely, and go about your work. Oh, and good music and headphones help to block out the huffs ;)

There are other types of Manipulator too, but they all have a few things in common. They use emotion to lure you in. They play on your sense of obligation or duty. They're experts at guilt. And they all have an agenda that involves you doing something for them. Once they've drawn you into their world, it's very difficult to put things in perspective and see the relationship for what it is.

If you're reading Early to Rise, then you don't have time to waste on these sorts of games. You've got dreams to fulfill, projects to complete, and exciting visions to bring to reality. And unlike the manipulators, you're doing it through the sweat of your own brow–and with the help of others who pitch in because you're adding value to their lives.

So how do you smoke out these sneaky time wasters?

I'll tell you exactly how to spot The Manipulator in Part Two. And I'll give you a set of strategies you can use to protect yourself and your business. Stay tuned...

Wednesday 28 March 2012

Children learn what they live

If a child lives with criticism,

he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

she learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,

she learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,

he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,

she learns confidence.

If a child lives with security,

he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,

she learns to like herself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

he learns to find love in the world.

Sadly, in our society our children

can face ridicule instead of approval,

bullying instead of friendship,

or critisism instead of encouragement.

That's why its so important for us parents

to provide a home where our little ones

can thrive and develop these positive attitudes,that is If you really want to teach your child

to feel good about themself, to be confident, to be patient, to trust and respect you,

and to find love and happiness in life,

3 ‘Ego Traps’ by Aine Belton

March 25, 2012

By Aine Belton

1. Perfectionism

Perfectionism is the illusory holy grail of the ego.

When you strive to be perfect you will always end up feeling like a failure. However well you do, however much you achieve or attain, it will never feel like ‘enough’ because it will never be perfect, and hence will never quench the insatiable appetite of perfectionism. Instead, you are left feeling hollow and that you have somehow fallen short.

Perfectionism blinds you to your inherent worth and value, diminishing positives whilst over emphasizing negatives.

You spot what’s wrong, what’s not perfect, yet fail to see the assets, achievements, value, gifts, and beauty that’s there.

Perfectionism keeps you separate from love, acceptance and appreciation. It creates unattainable standards and expectations and offers no fruits in return, being devoid of feelings of success, triumph, celebration, and so on.

The futile quest for perfectionism is a compensation for a belief that who you are is not enough. Seeking perfection is an attempt to rid feelings of inadequacy, shame and valuelessness, yet sadly it only compounds these.

If you are trying to be perfect you will not be able to love yourself as who you are right now.

It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being YOU.

The more you love and accept yourself just as you are, the more easily you will let go of what you are not and experience your true wondrous nature.

Perfectionism can also be paralysing because you become overly concerned about your performance, choices even, out of a fear of them being wrong by being ‘imperfect’.

Excellence is worth striving for. Perfectionism, on the other hand, is an ego trap. It is linked to higher levels of fear, control, feelings of inadequacy, and a lack of self-acceptance.

2. Judgment

When you judge yourself you are condemning yourself for your mistakes, flaws, weaknesses, or failings. Same goes with others.

We all have opinions, view points and perspectives that we are entitled to hold, of course. Being judgmental is a different energy, and is essentially about making you or someone wrong. Judgments hurt. With regard to judging yourself, the worse you feel about yourself the less likely you are to heal, change and experience your loving true nature. Same goes with others.

When you accept yourself as who you are, however, you more easily let go of what you’re not.

Judgment compounds that which is judged (in yourself or others) and keeps you bound and captive to those traits, keeping alive mistakes and failures.

Love, understanding, compassion and forgiveness, conversely, enable you to let go of and move beyond that which you are not, and that which is un-serving – be that thoughts and feelings, beliefs, hurts, fears, or people and situations in your life.

The more you love yourself unconditionally, the more your world will reflect that in happy positive realities and successes. Let go of self-judgment and choose to accept and appreciate yourself instead and see how your world positively transforms by that alone. You may need to start by giving yourself permission to do so, permission to love yourself.

If feel other people judge you or are hard on you, look at how you may be judging yourself. If you are punishing and criticising yourself in your mind or through sabotaging situations and behaviour, know your negative ego is at play, not your higher self.

We all make mistakes. Forgiveness is the way through and allows a new day, cleansing and refreshing you and your world.

3. Guilt

Guilt is a form of self-punishment. When you feel guilty you are stuck in a self-defeating swamp, your ‘magnetising potential’ for attracting positivity greatly diminishes, and you are likely to repel if not sabotage success.

Guilt invites punishment and victim scenarios, for if you do not punish yourself for the guilt you feel, consciously or otherwise, you may attract that punishment that you subconsciously feel in another form by way of people and circumstances you attract.

Guilt has no redeeming features. When you feel guilty you do not serve the one you feel guilty towards, or yourself, in any way. It is certainly not noble, though many, sadly, believe that it is. Guilt can also be arrogant, making everything about you and the impact you have, very often as an extension of feeling overly responsible for others.

Guilt keeps you stuck in the past and held back from correcting the ‘mistake’ and moving on. Furthermore, the guiltier someone feels, ironically the more likely the may be to re-do or re-live the behaviour they feel guilty about, because the worse someone feels and the more they believe they are ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ the more their behaviour may reflect that.

Guilt can also lead you to resenting the person or situation you feel guilty towards, which doesn’t serve them or you either. Instead of feeling guilty, acknowledge, forgive yourself, embrace any learnings, and step into the new – wiser, more loving and responsible than before.

We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. Guilt is an ego trap that leads to self-punishment and keeps you from loving yourself, which also diminishes your ability to love others. Being aware of that in itself can help you nip it in the bud.

Your upbringing may have instilled feelings of guilt, perhaps even guilt about being alive (though this may not be conscious), and religions can also generate feelings of guilt with ‘right-wrong’ dichotomies.

I believe you can make a choice not to feel guilty. Give yourself permission to stop it. You can care, love, be responsible and act from your conscience without guilt, in fact, more so without it.

http://globalloveproject.com/2012/03/3-ego-traps/

Tuesday 27 March 2012

Do Not Tell The World

Zip the Lip

By Robert Ringer

Trying to impress others with how well he's doing. (The more someone volunteers to tell you about his accomplishments, the less likely it is that he's accomplished much of anything.)
Constantly mouthing off about the deals he's working on.
Lavishly refurbishing his offices.
Talking incessantly about what he owns.
Talking incessantly about who he knows.

Live Like You Were Dying

I Admit It

I admit it. I like country music. There, I've said it. It's now all over the Internet.

Here's why I like it. Once a month I spend the weekend writing in the comfort of my Mom's kitchen out on the farm where she still lives (41 years and counting). While I write, she has the radio tuned to country music as she cooks up a storm and entertains my dog. Sure, country music is often ridiculously sappy and clichéd, but sometimes it hits the spot, too. It certainly fits the memory I want to share with you today.

Craig Ballantyne

"Recognize your highest calling as early as possible in life". – Frank McKinney

By Craig Ballantyne

"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."
Tim McGraw

It was an odd place for such a deep conversation. I ran into my friend Rob in the hallway at a large Internet Marketing seminar. "Hey Rob," I greeted him with enthusiasm, "It's been a long time."

"Craig," he replied with hesitation, "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately, but my mother passed away."

"Oh Rob, I'm sorry to hear that," I replied sincerely as we sat down amidst the hustle and bustle of seminar attendees.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he replied. "You know, seeing you write about your dad in your email newsletters really helped."

I nodded and thanked him. Back in 2009, the year after my father passed away, I wrote a series of 'personal notes' that I shared with my fitness readers. These included the many lessons I learned from my old man (mostly by watching him and learning what not to do – a topic for another day, perhaps).

As Rob and I continued our conversation, he said something that brought back vivid memories of the final day I spent with my father, one that reminds me to make the most of today.

"It was the strangest thing," Rob started to describe, "When my mom was in the hospital those last days, she hardly recognized anyone. Then one day, she sat up and we had this really great conversation, as if everything was fine. The next day, she passed away."

His story hit me hard. I had the exact same experience with my father.

On a beautiful sunny Saturday morning, September 6, 2008, to be exact, my father, who was very sick with cancer, wanted to go for a drive. That's how we had spent most of our time together in the last 18 months after he was first diagnosed with his illness. We'd hop in his truck, and I'd drive him around through the countryside to "check out the corn" or to visit his old buddies.

About a month before this sunny September drive my dad had been rushed to the hospital with severe abdominal pain. He and I rarely spoke about his illness, and frankly I don't think he ever accepted that he was dying, but I talked to his doctor who said my dad might be able to make it to Christmas. That was my expectation as we set out on our drive that late summer morning.

It turned out that Dad was in great spirits that day. He was moving better than he had been in weeks. This gave me a false sense of hope that he had turned the corner with his recent struggles and that he'd be this way for weeks.

Our first stop that morning was at a cousin's house to check out their new barn, and then we visited a gentleman who often sold my dad tractors. (That was my father's hobby, collecting and restoring old tractors.)

It was one of the best Saturday mornings of my life, and my optimism increased for a fall filled with similar drives through the countryside. We finished off with a trip to the local burger drive-in where my dad wanted to pick up a couple of milkshakes (that's about all he could tolerate eating at this stage).

Once we arrived home, he went to lie down, and I went out to the mall to buy him a new TV. I had my eye on a nice big 40-inch flat screen that would keep him entertained throughout the night when he couldn't sleep.

When I arrived home with his gift, his condition had already started to change. He wasn't really in the mood to watch TV and just wanted to sleep. That was fine, and we agreed upon another drive in the morning.

But he never did get a chance to use the new television set.

The next morning he woke up at 6am with severe abdominal pain. I brought him to the hospital where he was admitted, rushed to intensive care and placed on mind-fogging pain medications. We never did have another comprehensible conversation after that, and he passed away just two days later. Fortunately, my mother was able to get in contact me with at my home in Toronto, and I raced back to the hospital with fifteen minutes to spare so I could see my father one more time.

During the subsequent funeral home visitation for my father, I recounted this story over and over again to those who came to pay their respects.

My aunt nodded her head and explained this 'great day phenomenon' is a common occurrence. For some reason, many terminally ill people have a short-term revitalization for a day just before death.

They perk up, they move with ease unknown to them for months. They are alert, even chipper. They give optimism to their friends and family, and one more chance to visit with the person everyone used to know.

They lived like they were dying.

They took advantage of whatever the source of energy it is to give everyone one last memory. They gave one last glimpse of all the great days that had come before.

It happened for my friend Rob with his mother, and it happened on that sunny Saturday in September for me.

Whatever the source of my father's vitality that day, it gave me one last important memory to hold onto – to remember what really matters in life.

Listen, I hope you're in the greatest of health, but I also hope that you are taking time for what really matters in your life.

Our minutes are not best spent surfing over to another news website, or watching another television show, or arguing on the Internet.

How we spend our time is the most important decision we will make in our lives. What we do with each minute of every day determines our legacy, what our children will remember, and what we will leave behind.

Live every day with purpose. Live every day according to your mission and your plan. Have a vision for what you want to accomplish, and act in congruence with it.

Love deeper, speak sweeter, and give the forgiveness you've been denying.

Live passionately, live honestly, and live the best life that you can.

Thursday 22 March 2012

You Can Start Right Now

The first day of spring (here in North America) brings another opportunity for people to look forward to positive change. If you haven't set your goals for 2012, or if you have but are struggling, please read this classic essay from Michael Masterson to get you started on your journey.
Craig Ballantyne
"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." - Jim Rohn

One More Thing Before Setting Your Long-Term Goals: Figure Out Your Core Values

By Michael Masterson
Before you can jump feet first into master planning your life, you have one more job to do: Figure out what's really important to you.
Most people you meet on the street don't like their jobs, are unhappy with their family life, and want more money. They believe that if they could just do this or that, everything would be better.
Winning the lottery would make it all okay. At least that's what they think. But the truth is otherwise. Unless you live your life according to your core values, no success will be enough to bring you joy.
So before you attempt to set your goals, you have to spend 15 minutes figuring out your core values. What do I mean by core values? I mean the feelings you have about good and evil that are buried deep within your heart.
What does goal setting have to do with core values? It's all about insuring your long-term happiness. If you set goals that contradict your core values, you will wake up one day and say, "I did everything I said I wanted to do. But so what?"
You don't want to end up being yet another highly successful but fundamentally miserable person – a fate so common it's become a cliche. Here's how to make sure that doesn't happen...
Begin by imagining a funeral. It is taking place in an elegantly appointed room. The room is full of friends and family members who have assembled to talk about the deceased. You look around. You begin to recognize faces. "Who is the deceased?" you wonder. You look at the casket. Good God, it's you!
So what are the people at your funeral saying about you?
Imagine specific people: a parent, a sibling, a neighbor, a business associate, and even a stranger. Don't be vague about this. Think about individual, real people. And imagine them making very specific statements.
It's not enough to imagine your nephew saying something like, "She was a generous woman." You need to imagine a second, qualifying sentence, such as, "She always sent me expensive birthday presents."
And be honest. Don't sugarcoat the pill. Say it like it is. For example, your next door neighbor might be saying, "I thought he was a very inconsiderate person. He never picked up the mess when his dog crapped on my lawn."
Imagine everything the people at your funeral could truthfully say about you – and then think about the way their words make you feel.
If you don't feel good, it means that, in those relationships at least, you are not living your life according to your core values.
Now, for every negative statement you just imagined, ask yourself, "What would I like this person to be saying about me?" The answer to that question will reveal your core values for that particular relationship.
The goal of this exercise is to create a set of about a dozen sentences. Each sentence will be a statement that indicates what you think is important in a particular area of your life.
Let's say you imagined someone saying, "He was always struggling to make ends meet." That statement would make you feel bad, right? So then you imagine what you would like that person to say about you, and you might come up with, "He struggled for a while and then everything changed. He became very successful and died a wealthy person." If that statement makes you feel good, it's reasonable to say that acquiring wealth is a core value for you. And you would write it down like this: "I believe that financial success is a valuable and admirable accomplishment."
Got it?
Negative Statement: "He was always struggling to make ends meet."
Positive Statement: "He struggled for a while and then everything changed. He became very successful and died a wealthy person."
Core Value: "I believe that financial success is a valuable and admirable accomplishment."
I recommend that you shoot for about a dozen statements, because you want to address all the major areas of your life:
Your health values
Your wealth values
Your self-improvement (personal) values
Your social happiness values
Why?
Because your core values should determine your goals. And your goals have to be comprehensive.
Most goal-setting programs are not comprehensive. They focus on just one thing. Making more money. Or losing weight. Or being happy (whatever that means). Setting such singular goals can sometimes be effective if you have the flexibility in your schedule to focus on them. But most people don't. And that creates a problem. They start out enthusiastically and make progress for a while. But before long, life's many urgencies push their way in. Good habits are neglected. Bad habits return. Before long, the goal is abandoned.
You are going to avoid that very common problem by considering the full spectrum of your life – not just your health or your wealth but also your hobbies, personal relations, social obligations, and so on.
Here's what you should do now:
Take out a piece of paper and divide it into four boxes.
At the top of those boxes, write Health, Wealth, Self-Improvement, and Social Happiness.
Inside each box, write down statements in that category that you would like to have said about you at your funeral.
For example...
Under Health:
"He was the fittest 80-year-old I ever saw."
"He could run a mile in eight minutes."
"I once saw him lift up a car by its bumper."
Under Wealth:
"Of all the people who graduated from Riverdale High School in 1972, she turned out to be the wealthiest."
"She had a huge mansion in Laguna Beach."
"She left $4 million to charity when she died."
Under Self-Improvement:
"He was the best chess player I ever knew."
"He was also a published poet."
"He knew more about home decorating than Martha Stewart."
Under Social Happiness:
"She was the world's kindest mom."
"She was also a very generous friend."
"She was a strong supporter of breast cancer research."
Write down at least two such statements in each of the four categories. The purpose of writing them down is twofold: to fix them in your mind, and to have something specific you can refer to later.
You will be referring to these core values many times in the coming years. They should be a source of continuous inspiration. Treat them seriously. They are the crux of your master plan.

Tuesday 20 March 2012

Start Taking Conscious Risks

http://www.guyfinley.org/free-content/writings/special-lessons/4688?src=KL&lyid=147000488&klsid=sid0000_KL

A spiritual risk is any action we will take based on our willingness to challenge our own certainty that our present state of consciousness represents the full measure of life's possibility. Here is one simple example: Maybe we feel as though no one understands our situation or that no one is being sensitive to the pressure we're under. During these times most of us feel the strong need to complain to someone -- anyone (including ourselves) -- in order to win some sympathy. The conscious risk in this case is to give no voice to any complaints, either outwardly or inwardly.
Whenever we feel ourselves certain that we are a captive of something -- be it anything from a fear of proceeding with a wish we have, to that feeling of being inadequate to getting through a task at hand -- we remember in this same self-defining moment that this reality before our eyes is, at best, only a partial one. And then, as unthinkable as it seems to us in this same moment, as certain as we may feel that real freedom is beyond our reach, we make a conscious leap into the unknown.
Once we realize that our present view of self, a view that defines our reality, is a construct of a certain level of our own consciousness -- one that's convinced the limit of its present view is the limit of its possibility -- we also realize the need to leave this self-limited world behind us.
Knowing the makeup of this world we must abandon, we have but one choice: Let go of who we are sure we are and make a leap into something new. Our conscious choice is to discover what awaits us in an open-ended reality, instead of allowing ourselves to be grounded by a preconceived notion of who we are and what we can do.
Nothing can stop us from taking this leap into all that we may be, other than this mistaken and unconscious conviction we have of who we already are -- a mindset supported by the strange comfort we find in clinging to who we have been.
Find the places in your life where you can take these conscious, spiritual risks. The liberation you win will be the repeated discovery that the only thing holding you captive is yourself

Monday 12 March 2012

Sticking Around For Greatness

By Jason Leister

I've spent a lot of time in my life looking for something "better."

When I was a musician, I was "looking" for something better in the business world.

When I was in the business world, I was "looking" for something better in the marketing world.

In each subject area, I'd work really hard at the beginning. I'd either have some good success or great success and then BAMO... the bottom would fall out.

The glitz and shine of the new would wear off, or maybe I'd just get bored.

Either way, the result was the same over and over: Things would start to get old and I'd start "looking" again.

I would always approach "greatness" or the start of it anyway, and then run over and start looking for another mountain to climb.

Maybe I was afraid of success, maybe I was afraid of criticism, I don't know. And it doesn't really matter.

The important lesson I (finally) learned is that operating like this is no way to live or run a business.

One, it's tiring as heck.

Two, it's kind of selfish. Because living like that keeps me from making the real breakthroughs in life. The ones that often require many, many days of what I used to consider monotony. Those are the breakthroughs that will really allow me to make an impact on the world.

Making an impact requires excellence. And that comes from doing stuff over and over.

I did that in the music world. I practiced my instrument a lot. Sometimes as much as four hours in a single day. I talk about it like it's a lot, but in the world of a professional musician, that's really nothing.

Whether I practiced 20 minutes or four hours, I wasn't mature enough at the time to continue doing the work when I got bored.

And I have to tell you, I got bored very often. But that's because I was "blind."

I couldn't see the work for what it was - a path to achieving something great for myself and others. Mainly for others.

Instead, I just saw the work as more work, and I didn't have the discipline to do it.

I've grown up a bit since those days.

Now I know that my "work" is developing the discipline to stick around and to keep doing my work.

I do the work even if it's easy. Especially if it's easy. It's easy because I'm good at it. It's easy because it's a gift. A gift I'm supposed to share. And I can always get better... closer to being EXCELLENT.

For me, I think this is the key to success:

Develop the focus and discipline to do the things I'm good at over and over. To become GREAT at them. Not in a robotic lifeless kind of way, but in a more methodical, deliberate and conscious way.

I'm betting that at the end of my life, I'm not going to look back and talk about how much money I made in such little time or anything like that.

But I do imagine that I'll probably look back on my life and ask myself just how many lives I changed and by how much.

So what does this have to do with business?

I think a lot of business owners do the same thing.

In the end, it's easy to devalue and skip over what comes easy for you. After all, there's no struggle in it. There's no "overcoming adversity" in it.

There's no big "I DID it" release when you get to the end.

That's the story line that plays out over and over again in the movies. Man overcomes all odds to achieve success.

That's just not how it happens most of the time. That's not real, it's just a story.

In my experience, "success" is far less exciting than I thought it was going to be.

It reminds me a bit of a business owner I know who told me about a really successful marketing campaign he did once... and then said something like, "Yeah, we never did it again."

Instead of looking for the "right work" my goal now is to do my work the "right way" for me.

And that is to do it like it matters. Because it does.

We're all on this earth to do something or be something. And we all have to figure out what that is.

I think it's easy for those of us that are afflicted with this syndrome called entrepreneurialism to always be striving... always searching for that thing that's going to give us "the rush."

A new marketing method, a new piece of software, a new cutting edge technique...

I know I'm guilty of it.

Instead of executing what I do well on a consistent basis, my focus was always on searching for the new and exciting.

Sure I could generate traffic, sales, clients, readers by sitting down every day and writing something valuable. But hey, did you hear about this new [insert marketing fad of the week]?

We get addicted to the climb instead of addicted to excellence.

Don't discount what you do well just because it's easy for you. Even if it seems too easy or unexciting.

You could be on your way to something great.

And that is what the world needs now more than ever. The world is waiting for you to discover your greatness.

Do your work. Over and over and over again

CREATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

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